Full Circle Funerals

Government rules

People are allowed to attend a funeral or a belief based/ceremonial event that is linked to a funeral (such as a scattering of ashes)

Up to 30 people are allowed to attend a funeral; this does not include funeral staff

Up to 15 people are allowed to attend a belief based/ceremonial event (such as a wake or scattering of ashes); this does not include anyone working. Some venues can remain open to host such events. If the event is in a private dwelling (including private gardens), only members of one household or support bubble can attend. You must not break your self-isolation to attend such an event

Actual maximum numbers that can attend will be dependent on what the venue can safely allow (see details for Yorkshire crematoria below)

Light refreshments are permitted at events linked to funerals

Symptomatic people should not attend funerals

People who are self-isolating should not attend funerals unless they are a close family member of the person that has died. Remote attendance should take place where possible. If after considering the risk you choose to attend in person you must

Local Crematorium Rules

Cottingley

14 in chapel and 16 outside

Professional pallbearers only

No touching the coffin

Rope barrier around coffin

Officiant only at lectern

Any attendee readings must be done from seats

Seats have been separated

Curtains to remain open

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings

Huddersfield

10 inside chapel and 10 outside

Lawns Wood

14 in chapel and 16 outside

Professional pallbearers only

Rope barrier around coffin

Officiant only at lectern

Any attendee readings must be done from seats

Seats have been separated

Curtains to remain open

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings

Nab Wood

15 inside chapel and 5 outside

Seating spaced which must be moved back if tampered with

Any speaking from attendees must be done from their seats (i.e., not at the lectern)

No touching coffin

Rope barriers around coffin

Curtains must remain open at the end of the service

Professional pallbearers only

No singing or hymn books

2 pieces of music allowed

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings

Park Wood

20 inside chapel and 8 in overflow

Seating spaced which must be moved back if tampered with

Curtains must remain open at the end of service

Professional pallbearers only

Attendees cannot touch coffin

Rope barrier around coffin

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings (crematorium yet to confirm number)

Rawdon

18 in chapel and 12 outside

Professional pallbearers only

Rope barrier around coffin

Officiant only at lectern

Any attendee readings must be done from seats

Seats have been separated

Curtains to remain open

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings

2 Saturdays in December and January there will be 10 appointments available with no extra charge

Scholemoor

10 mourners inside chapel and 10 outside

Seating spaced which will be moved back if mourners move seats

Any speaking from attendees must be done from their seats (i.e., not at the lectern)

Rope barriers around coffin

Curtains must remain open at the end of the service

Professional pallbearers only

No touching the coffin

No visual tributes or live webcasts but service can be recorded to be sent out after

No singing or hymn books

2 pieces of music allowed

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings (crematorium yet to confirm number)

Skipton

15 inside chapel and 15 outside

Seating spaced which must be moved back if tampered with

No touching the coffin

No singing

No shouldering

Only officiant allowed at lectern

Flowers can be left on coffin but crematorium staff will not remove them

Maximum of 6 for ashes scatterings (crematorium yet to confirm number)

Stonefall

20 inside chapel and 0 outside

Funerals with more than 20 attendees will be turned away

Rope barrier around coffin

Seats aren’t separated but some rows are blocked off

Funeral director must be last to leave the chapel

York

18 inside chapel

No touching the coffin

Professional pallbearers only

Curtains will close at end of service

Seating is separated but can be moved – must be moved back before next service

Barrier around coffin

Local Burial Rules

Bradford

30 attendees allowed

Family / friend pallbearers are allowed

Calderdale

28 attendees allowed

Craven

15 attendees allowed

Harrogate

20 attendees allowed

Kirklees

10 attendees allowed

Leeds

30 attendees allowed

Family allowed to carry coffin and lower into grave

Armley / Hunslet burial chapels can only accommodate 20

Registering a death

General Government Guidance

If the person died at home or in hospital:
A relative should register the death but if this is not possible the following may register

Someone who was there at the time of death

An administrator from the hospital where the person died

Someone who is in charge of making funeral arrangements

If the person died somewhere other than at home or in a hospital:

A relative should register the death but if this is not possible the following may register:

Someone who was there at the time of death

The person who found the person after they had died

Someone who is in charge of caring for the person after they have died

Someone who is in charge of making funeral arrangements

Bradford

Telephone 01274 432 151 to book an appointment for the registrar to call you. If the person died in either BRI of AGI you can make an appointment through their bereavement officers. For BRI telephone 01274 364477 and for AGI telephone 01535 652 511.

The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death will be sent directly to the registrar.

Calderdale

Visit the below link to book an appointment for the registrar to contact you.

https://ebooking.calderdale.gov.uk/eRegistrar/

Registration of death is only being carried out over telephone.

The hospital or GP surgery will scan the registration paperwork to the registrar.

Harrogate

Use the below link to book an appointment for the registrar to ring you:

https://myaccount.northyorks.gov.uk/registrars/death-booking

Or, call 01609 780780

You will need:

Details about the person that has died

Confirmation that the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been emailed to the registrars

A credit / debit card to pay for any death certificates

Kirklees

No registration of death is to be done in person, only over the telephone

Use the below link to book an appointment for the registrar to ring you

http://zipporah.co.uk/contact

You will need:

Details about the person that has died

Confirmation that the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is with the registrar

A credit / debit card to pay for any death certificates

Leeds

Registering the death by phone

A member of the registrar team will call the next of kin usually within three days of the person’s death and over the course of the phone call they will register the death. If the next of kin is unable to take the call someone else can speak to the registrar – the next of kin can pass the phone to them or they can give the registrar additional contact details. The other person must be:

A relative of the person that has died

The funeral director or someone making the person’s funeral arrangements

York

Email: registrar@york.gov.uk or call 01904 654477 to arrange an appointment to register a death by telephone; details you must include are:

name of the person who has died

date and place of death

name, contact number and email address of the person registering the death

name of the funeral director (if known)

Registration of deaths is only taking place over the telephone.

The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death will be issued directly to the register office.

The want to live and create sustainably envelops Francesca’s work; this much is evident to anyone that glances at her Instagram and website posts where photographs of delicately embroidered fabrics and organic forms in stitching are accompanied by comments frequently referencing her natural inspiration. These organic forms in thread have not come about for aesthetics’ sake alone; Francesca is part of a movement that is challenging the way we produce and consume garments. Through her studies at the Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design, from which she has recently graduated, Francesca’s mission to challenge the impact our consumption has on the planet has been guided, strengthened, and found its voice in the creation of sustainable and eco-conscious burial garments presented in her final year’s project. I spoke with her about this project, her impressions (as a textile artist and relative outsider) of the death industry, and her plans for the future.

Could you tell us a little bit about your burial garment project?

Every life has an ending, and for humans this is a heavily contemplated advent. However, even with the existing sustainable options for burials, the materials that that body is clothed in are not often considered. It is estimated that 65% of all fibres used in the clothing industry are made from synthetic material. Long after a body has decomposed these materials remain in the ground and take hundreds of years to break down, releasing harmful chemicals in the process. Using the slow and thoughtful process of embroidery, I have designed textiles for burial-wear with fabric that is eco-friendly to produce and 100% decomposable, such as plant and animal-based materials and natural dyes. Bio-degradable matter, once dead and decomposing, adds nutrients to the ground which allows for new life to grow. This life cycle closely connects people to nature and provides the visuals for my design. I have drawn from disintegrated leaves as a reminder of our place in the environment, one that we must look after for the next generations in the cycle. Some of the techniques and materials used are inspired by traditional Irish crafts and the ancient burial rituals of my predecessors. Textiles have great significance within society, throughout history and across cultures; they tell stories, provide warmth and comfort and play an important role in specific occasions and rituals. New life is often accompanied by textiles, the swaddling blanket helps the baby feel safe and contained as it adjusts to life outside the womb. The same is sometimes done with the deceased; as a salve, a cover, for remembrance and memorial. My project aims to open the discussion around death and the rituals and practices that surround it. With beautiful, thoughtful textiles in natural materials we can return loved ones to the earth with ceremony that has aligns with the balance of nature.

What is the background to your project, and what inspired you to delve into the niche of burial clothing?

I was speaking to a family member who went to a funeral where the deceased was buried in a wicker casket, and I thought that was very cool but I automatically questioned what she wore in the casket, since I study textile design I’m always thinking about materials. This family member was also helping me figure out a concept for my final year project, and he thought shrouds for the grave was a great idea. At first I said no way, because I’m 22 death isn’t something that crosses my mind often and I thought it would be too morbid. But the more research I did the more I realised I could incorporate the themes that ARE of a great concern to me (environmental impact of textiles) and make the project a positive one.

What research did you do for the project?

For my project’s concept I began researching ancient Irish traditions and celebrations i.e. pagan traditions and mythological beliefs, and most of these things were connected to death and the afterlife, and compared this to how we view death today. For the visuals of my project I looked into folk art, traditional Irish crafts and other artists and designers who incorporate or mimic nature in their work. The most interesting research for me was discovering innovative and sustainable textiles, e.g. fabric made out of seaweed, algae or nettles. Of course none of these fabrics are commercial yet, so for my project I stuck to traditional cottons, linens and silk, with Irish made linen being the star feature.

What, if anything, surprised you most about the ‘death world’?

During my research I discovered that eco or green burials are gaining popularity, but I almost couldn’t find anyone who had considered what the body will wear in the grave. I asked a friend who works at a funeral directors what people wear for a green burial and he said people are just dressed in a plain robe sort of thing for their burial. I think it made me realise just how little most people know about, so therefore consider, what their clothes are made from.

Another thing I realised during this project is that in other countries around the world death is kind of more accepted, and a bigger fuss is made out of funerals. This could be because of their different beliefs of the afterlife or maybe because more people die at an early age. But in the western world especially, death is scary, and we put it off for as long as possible, and everyone wears black at the funerals and it seems like the worst thing in the world. I’m not saying either of these views of death is wrong, I just found it interesting once I thought about it.

Do you think you’ll be making the garments to sell in the future?

As of now I have no plans to actually make and sell burial garments, even though I think there is a gap in the market for them. But hopefully now that more people are thinking about a green burial, more people will start making sustainable burial clothing.

What is something you would like people reading this to know?

I can’t think of anything else I’d like to add about my project, but I guess in general I’d like more people to think about what their clothes are made from and who has made them. If you buy a £3 t-shirt in Primark, what did the person making it get paid? And isn’t it better to spend money on well-made, ethically made clothing rather than continuously buying cheap clothes that wear out fast? Also, if your clothes do become unwearable, never ever throw them in the bin that goes to landfill.

Francesca’s website is:

https://www.francescareatextiles.com/

You can also find her on Instagram

‘I want to talk about my Mum dying but people have stopped asking me about it and so I don’t know whether I can bring it up’

‘People assume that everything is okay because I am just getting on’

‘It’s been a year since my brother died and there seems to be a feeling that I should have moved on – but I don’t feel like that’

‘People cross the street when they see me – I think they are embarrassed or don’t know what to say’

‘I think my friends are afraid I might cry on them’

The time between someone dying and the funeral is often a very busy time – making contact with people, making arrangements with the funeral director, the officiant, family and friends, doing all the official, legal things that are required and just generally engaged in many conversations about what has happened and how we are feeling. After the funeral there seems to follow a quieter time when it comes to tasks and there comes a time and a need to return to ‘normality’. What is normal when we are talking about bereavement and grief? Everyone’s grief is individual to them and yes there are some ‘norms’ in terms of our physical and emotional reactions to grief but really, we are all individual and we will have had our own relationship with the person who has died and we will respond to that in our own way.

What does become apparent though is that over the months that follow, our opportunities to talk to people about our experience and our emotions become less. Perhaps because we don’t feel like we can or should bother people; perhaps because we think that we might look okay to people on the outside that we don’t feel we can tell them how we are on the inside; perhaps people are afraid to ask us because they don’t know what kind of emotional response they will have to deal with. Whatever the reason, the fact is we don’t talk. Counselling offers that opportunity to share our inner most thoughts with someone who is non-judgemental and impartial. However, it can sometimes be difficult to access free counselling or a long wait and not everyone can afford to pay for it.

The idea of a bereavement support group is that you can offer people a safe space to share experiences and emotion with people who have a shared knowledge and understanding of where you might be at. The power of hearing that someone else has thought what you have been thinking, has wondered whether their feelings are ‘normal’, shared the feeling of fog and forgetfulness, should not be underestimated.

We started our bereavement support group in October 2018. Before the Covid pandemic, we met in an evening once a month and we have an open door – to anyone (not just to families that we have supported) who would like to come and stay for as little or as long as you would like. The kettle was warm, and the biscuits were plentiful. During the pandemic we have continued to meet, only by Zoom. I wasn’t too sure how people would feel about it but like everything, it works for some and doesn’t for others. Some like the opportunity to still be able to meet and chat. Some don’t like video conferencing as a way to connect. What we all miss is the chance to give a hug or hold a hand but we also take comfort from knowing that we are there for each other.

You may not want to say very much in front of a group of people who you have never met before – that’s okay. You may find yourself sharing more because they are strangers – that’s okay too. Either way, what we hope is that people feel comfortable and leave with a sense of their time having been spent in a worthwhile way. We aren’t counsellors but we are a team of people who work every day with the bereaved and we listen to their experiences and we share their lessons with those who we hope it can help.

‘I went home and I slept through the night for the first time since my husband died’

‘Someone in the group talked about a time of day that they found to be very difficult and how they decided to start a new routine at that time and it has helped them. I am going to try that too.’

‘It isn’t just me’

‘They all understood what I was trying to say even though I couldn’t find the words’

Full Circle Funerals Bereavement Support Group meets on the first Wednesday of the month, 5.00-6.30pm by Zoom. You can contact Ruth on 01943 262626 or ruth@fullcirclefunerals.co.uk to find out more about the group and to get the link for the next meeting.

Talking about death can be difficult, and some people find it especially hard to approach the subject with children. We have collected a list of 10 children’s books that explore the subject of death and topics around it such as missing someone, saying goodbye and managing difficult emotions. This list is not exhaustive, and there are many books for children on these topics that we haven’t listed, but these are some that stuck out to us.

Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

This wonderful book introduces children and adults to ageing, death and dying without using sugar-coated language. Badger is old and knows that he will soon die, which doesn’t scare him but leaves him with concern for those he cares about. When Badger’s death finally arrives the reader is taken through the reactions of those that cared for Badger, and how they felt following his death is explored.

Buy Badger’s Parting Gifts on Amazon

Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen

‘Nothing that is alive goes on living forever’

In this gentle book readers are taught that everything that is alive has a lifespan, which begins and also ends. Death and dying is normalised by Mellonie and Ingpen, and made as much a part of living as being born.

Buy Lifetimes on Amazon

The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup

Readers are introduced to Fox who, whilst he has had a long and happy life knows that it is time for him to leave. After he falls asleep for the last time his friends begin to gather round him to share memories, and from this a memory tree grows. In The Memory Tree Teckentrup uses sensitive language to introduce the death of Fox and inspires home with her whimsical illustrations that memories about someone that has died continue on in people’s minds and hearts.

Buy The Memory Tree on Amazon

When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown

This book explains in simple, honest terms about death, dying and grief. It explores some of the feelings that may be experienced when someone is bereaved, and seeks to answer some of the most commonly asked questions children have about death

Buy When Dinosaurs Die on Amazon

Wherever You Are: my love will find you by Nancy Tillman

Even when apart, a parent will always love their child. In death that love will remain. This book contains a pertinent reminder for children that have lost a parent that they will never, ever be without their parent’s love, even if they have died.

Buy Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You on Amazon

Duck, Death and the Tulip by Wolf Erlbruch

Erlbruch’s tender tale of an unlikely friendship between Duck and Death is beautifully illustrated and serves as a gentle reminder that dying comes to us all, and does not need to be feared.

Buy Duck, Death and the Tulip on Amazon

Gentleman Sam by Penny Hartdale

Gentleman Sam is an elderly dog who finds his forever home on a farm with other animals. Sam has lots of lumps and he knows that one of them will kill him. He is not scared of dying, but has concerns for his friends that will remain behind. When Sam dies his friends are very sad, but in time the sun returns as they begin to understand that Sam remains with them, just out of site.

Buy Gentleman Sam from Hart Publications

The Paper Dolls by Julia Donaldson

‘…the pieces all joined together,
and the paper dolls flew
into the little girl’s memory’

This is the story about a girl and her paper dolls, and is a sweet reminder of the circle of life and that those we care about remain with us.

Buy The Paper Dolls on Amazon

Suzie Goes to a Funeral by Charlotte Olson

Attending a funeral for the first time can be daunting, especially for children. In this book Olson explains what can happen at a funeral in ways which children can understand. This book can help children prepare for attending a funeral themselves or can serve as a useful tool to explain what happens at funerals to children that might not be attending themselves, but have questions about the event.

Buy Suzie Goes to a Funeral on Amazon

Love Will Never Die by Clare Shaw

There are lots of things that children can feel after someone they care about dies. This book explains some of these feelings in honest, clear language, and encourages children to express their feelings through language and through drawing.

Buy Love Will Never Die from Clare Shaw’s website

Use code KPG40 to get 40% off RRP and have a donation made to the charity Kaleidoscope Plus Group

Water Bugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney

This tale uses the analogy of a water bug turning into a graceful dragonfly to explain death to children.

Buy Water Bugs and Dragonflies on Amazon

Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute? by Elke and Alex Barber

Sudden deaths can be incredibly difficult to come to terms with and often have an added layer of complexity that expected deaths do not have. Elke and Alex Barber have put together this short book that seeks to help children come to terms with someone they care about dying suddenly – it can also be used by adults to open up the conversation about someone’s death.

Buy Is Daddy Coming Home in a Minute? on Amazon

and find out more information here

What Happened to Daddy’s Body? by Elke and Alex Barber

From the same authors as Is Daddy Coming Home in a Minute?, What Happened to Daddy’s Body uses the same delicate but clear language to explain the process of cremation to children.

Buy What Happened to Daddy’s Body? on Amazon

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr

Through the perspective of a fish that has lost his tank-mate, Parr explores the variety of emotions one can experience in loss, and those behaviours that may result. The book concludes by encouraging readers that positive feelings can come after goodbyes, even though it might not feel like it at the time.

Buy The Goodbye Book on Amazon

I Miss You by Pat Thomas

Simple explanations of death, why people die and what people can feel after a funeral are all contained in this book by Pat Thomas.

Buy I Miss You on Amazon

Ida, Always by Caron Levis

Ida and Gus are polar bears that live in a city zoo. Ida becomes sick with an illness that cannot get better which leads to hear death. Through the experience of Gus and Ida the turbulence of caring for someone through a terminal illness to their death is delicately spoken about in these whimsically illustrated pages.

Buy Ida, Always on Amazon

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

In this book readers are reminded that no matter what happens, even death, people are always connected to those that they love.

Buy The Invisible String on Amazon

The Invisible Leash by Patrice Karst

From the author of The Invisible Sting, this tender tale seeks to reassure readers that after a pet dies, the love they had for them will remain.

Buy The Invisible Leash on Amazon

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm

When Elfie, a young boy’s dog dies from old age the boy and his family are sad. Their grief is explored in this book and relief is found in remembering just how much Elfie was and still is loved.

Buy I’ll Always Love You on Amazon

The Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Watt

When Elfie, a young boy’s dog dies from old age the boy and his family are sad. Their grief is explored in this book and relief is found in remembering just how much Elfie was and still is loved.

Buy I’ll Always Love You on Amazon

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In December 2017 I wrote a blog about going for my Dementia Champion training in Leeds with the Older People’s Forum. I can’t quite believe that two years have passed and here I am writing a new blog about the journey of being a Dementia Friend. Where did that time pass?

I remember feeling slightly nervous, wondering if I will be able to deliver the inspiring training that I have heard from our local group, Ilkley Dementia Friends back in May 2017. I had attended their dementia awareness training as part of Ilkley’s drive to become a dementia friendly town and Dementia Awareness week. It was the most inspiring and motivating training I think I have ever received. Learning through activities, case studies, personal stories – you forgot you were learning! At the time something called the Dementia Alliance were encouraging communities, whether it be your town or your workplace to become dementia friendly. You may have seen their stickers and logos on police cars, ambulances, banks, airports, schools, local businesses and trades in your town. You may, yourself have had dementia friends training. It certainly encouraged Full Circle to become a Dementia Friends business and become members of our local alliances. Since then, the alliance has changed tac slightly and is now about creating a dementia friendly community with the emphasis being about that particular community supporting themselves to become dementia friendly through peer support and review.

Why is Dementia Friends and Dementia Friendly Community important? Dementia affects over 670,000 people in the UK and that number is likely to double in the next 30 years. It impacts heavily on families and forms the basis of health and social care policy. But, if we are totally honest with ourselves, most of us are quite scared of dementia. Scared of it happening to us, our loved ones, scared of people with dementia, worried about upsetting them, treat them differently. All very negative connotations. 47% of people with dementia do not feel part of their community.

Delivering the information sessions has been incredible. I have delivered 11 sessions and created 88 new dementia friends. They have been GP receptionists, our celebrants, our staff, WI groups, Marie Curie volunteers – all of whom either have a professional or personal opportunity to share their experience and pass the message along. I have also given short talks at community events about how to support people with dementia at the time of arranging a funeral for some one they love.

Of course, the pandemic has altered our opportunities to deliver the information sessions face-to-face but in keeping with the adjustments that we have all had to make, we can continue todo this by Zoom. My first time of doing this will be on the 14th August and I am looking forward to seeing how the resources that we used before have been adapted to this new way of delivering training.

For me, Dementia Friends information sessions enable you to not be scared, to feel that you can make a positive difference, to make that difference in yourself, in your business, in your community. The more people that get involved, the better we can be as a society to understand dementia.

To find out more about the session on the 14th August, please call Ruth on 01943 262626 or email ruth@fullcirclefunerals.co.uk

When someone you care about is hurting it can be hard to know how to help them. Receiving gifts can be helpful for the person that is bereaved, as these can be a reminder that someone is thinking about and cares for them. Sending a token of your thoughts needn’t be expensive – below we have collected some of our favourite, inexpensive gift ideas that you might want to consider gifting.

1. Friend I’m here for you – Made by Laura Jane (£4.95)

‘Maybe I can’t stop the downpour, but I will always walk with you in the rain’ reads the small notecard that accompanies this bonny figurine of a child in a hooded raincoat. A small gesture to remind those you care about that they have someone to weather the storm with.

2. “In Loving Memory” Remembrance Votive Candle with Gift Bag and Card – Angel and Dove (£10.99 but quote FULLCIRCLE10 for 10% discount on all their products)

Lighting a candle in memory of someone is one way to visualise remembrance. Angel and Dove have created a token candle which may be gifted in memory of someone which the person missing them can light to create a visual expression of their thoughts.

3. Pocket Flower Forget Me Not – Little Glass Boutique (£5.00 incl VAT)

These small mementos come attached to a card which can be removed so they can be held in the hand, or perhaps kept in a pocket as a reminder that those one cares about are never far away.

4. Feather Bereavement Fairy Gift – Lotty Lollipop (£10.95)

The hand painted figurines can be personalised by adding a name to the bottom of the figure. The wings may prevent them from being comfortable cuddled like the other small mementos on this list, but they would make a sweet décor addition with a subtle nod to the person that is missed.

5. Thinking of Your Miniature Bouquet of Paper Roses – Marvling Bros Ltd (£4.99)

Giving flowers is a popular way of letting someone know that they are being though of. This matchbox sized faux-bouquet can be kept much longer than real flowers and can be reopened when comfort is sought.

6. Card with rainbow light catcher – Jayne Britton (£4.50)

The removable light catcher attached to this card can be hung in the light – a colourful reminder of the words from its giver.

7. “Sometime all your need is a bear hug” matchbox gift – Liberty Bee (£7.98)

Another matchbox gift to be held comfortably in the palm. The whimsical nature of this bear token means it could make a great gift for younger people and children.

8. Name a star – thegiftexperience.co.uk (£9.99)

Looking at the night sky, up into the stars can be comforting to some people that have lost someone special to them. Some like to think that amongst the stars is where the person they miss now exists. Naming a star after someone is a way of solidifying this connection.

9. Personalised message heart shaped coaster – Sophia Victoria Joy (£6.00)

Personalise this coaster with the name of the mother’s child.

10. Personalised memorial candle – Lollyrocket Candle Co (£8.00)

Lighting a hand poured candle whilst thinking of someone that has died is one way to create ritual around a moment of remembrance. These candles can be personalised for a small additional cost.

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Taking Care of Yourself

In these difficult times it is more important than ever to take care of yourself and your family.

Many people are rushing to make Wills at present, but the importance of Lasting Powers of Attorney should not be overlooked, and the documents should (ideally) be prepared together as part of your lifetime planning. Wills and Lasting Powers of Attorney can only be executed when the person making them has the requisite mental capacity to do so. As mental incapacity can strike at any time through accident or illness or general deterioration, it is important to get your affairs in order whilst you are fit and well.

Wills

Making a Will allows you to say who inherits your estate after death. The Will does not take effect until death and therefore does not dictate what you can do with your estate in your lifetime – it is yours to do with as you please whilst you are alive. If you spend all you have – so be it! The Will simply takes care of what is left of your estate on death and accordingly should be drafted to protect and provide for those who are left behind. A Will should be reviewed on a regular basis, at least every 3 to 5 years, to ensure that it still meets with your wishes. Family circumstances can change quickly, and your Will should adapt accordingly – if it is very specific in its content then it will require a regular review. If it is more general in content, it may extend that review period.

Making a Will at any time, whether you are 18 years old or 80 years old gives you the opportunity to choose who will deal with your estate after death, who will care for any children under the age of 18 years at your death, who will care for any pets you have at your death, and making a Will allows you to make specific gifts of items or sums of money to particular people – whether they be family members, friends or charities. Those who are parents should look to protect their children and those who are grandparents should look to distribute their assets as they wish.

Without a Will, the law dictates who will deal with your estate after death and more importantly who will inherit your estate after death – don’t let that happen. This is a particularly important point for those who cohabit with their partner and do not marry or enter into a civil partnership. Those who choose to cohabit offer no protection for their partner without making a Will, unless they hold all their assets in joint names with their partner (in which case the assets pass by survivorship), which is not always the case.

Lasting Powers of Attorney

Making a Lasting Power of Attorney allows you to say who deals with your affairs in your lifetime. There are two types of Lasting Power of Attorney – one that relates to your property and financial affairs, and the other that relates to your health and welfare. The two Lasting Powers of Attorney complement each other and enable you to say who should look after your affairs in the event that you are unable to. A Lasting Power of Attorney relating to your property and financial affairs covers everything from dealing with your income, capital and expenditure, to selling your property for you. Appointing someone you trust is vital as it is a very important role for someone to take on, and it should not be taken on lightly. A Lasting Power of Attorney relating to your health and welfare covers everything from your Attorney being involved in your daily routine and respecting your wishes for day to day living, to making life sustaining decisions. The major difference between the two documents is that a Lasting Power of Attorney relating to your property and financial affairs can be used whilst you still have capacity – perhaps for convenience. However, a Lasting Power of Attorney relating to your health and welfare can only be used when you do not have the capacity to make a decision yourself relating to those matters.

Without Lasting Powers of Attorney in place, your legal next of kin have to apply to the Court of Protection in London for a Court order to become a ‘Deputy’ to enable them to deal with your affairs. This can prove to be a lengthy and expensive process at a time when time may be of the essence, and family tensions run high – don’t let that happen. The process of applying to the Court involves an application form being completed, together with a schedule of your income and capital and an assessment of capacity carried out by a medical professional. There is an application fee payable to the Court. Your proposed ‘Deputy’ will also need to complete a Declaration and in due course will need to take out an insurance bond to protect your assets. The Deputy will need to prepare an annual report of your income, capital and expenditure. Again, it can be an onerous task, one that can be avoided by making a Lasting Power of Attorney – you are able to choose who you wish to be your Attorney, rather than the law dictating who the next of kin is and therefore who is entitled to apply to Court to be appointed as your Deputy.

So, don’t delay – take care of yourself today!

Mrs Maxine Heppenstall

Private Client Solicitor & Director

Walker Foster Ltd, Skipton

msh@walkerfoster.com

01756 700200

Visit the Walker Foster website here

So as we say our farewells to AB,
we say thank you for all that you gave to us in life,
the warmth of your love;
your humour and friendship;
your help, guidance, and wisdom;
and the joy that you brought wherever you went.
Whilst we miss you terribly,
we are thankful that you now have the peace you deserve.

AB, we send all our love to surround you now.
As we think of our continuing journey in this life,
we promise never to forget you,
we will honour your memory by living our lives as you would want us to,
and we will take the joy and pleasure you had in life and share it freely with others.
Fare-well and thank you, AB!

The time has come for us now to bid AB farewell.
AB, we let you go now in peace, thankful for all you have been, treasuring your eternal love and promising to support and love each other in the coming days and weeks.

The separateness, the uniqueness of each human life is the basis of our grief in bereavement.
Look through the whole world and there is no one like AB, but s/he still lives on in your memories, and though no longer a visible part of your lives, AB will always remain a member of your family and of your circle, through the influence s/he has had on you and the special part s/he played in your lives. As we let AB go in peace, we also take her/him with us as we leave here, in that most special of places, the depth of our hearts.

We have been celebrating and remembering with affection and gratitude the life of AB, the many good times we shared and the love s/he freely gave to us all.
So in sorrow, but with deep love and affection we now commit ab’s earthly body to be transformed into the elements of the universe. But as we do, we promise to cherish her/his memory and
look for memories of the good times in the beauty of the earth we see around us.

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose on earth, a time to be born and a time to die. Here in this last act, in sorrow but without fear, in love and appreciation, we commit AB’s body to its natural end.

We’re coming to the end of this celebration of AB’s life. But before we go our separate ways we pause for a moment to reflect on all that we have heard and shared. Perhaps to recall our own personal and favourite memories of AB… (Pause)
Just as a child is welcomed into our lives, there is also a time to say goodbye when someone leaves us. So now we say goodbye to AB. It may be difficult, there may be tears, but it is important that we do this, but knowing they leave with us treasure beyond words.

Now is the time to return AB’s body back to the earth that for xx years s/he has called home. Just as the elements came together to create you, so now we ask those same elements enfold you and keep you safe as once again you become part of something greater that each of us and more than we know or understand.

Now is the time to say goodbye to AB.
Ab is now free from any pain or distress s/he may have encountered.
Now is the time for us to let go of any times we hurt AB, and remember the love we shared
Now is the time to say to AB, we forgive you anything that you may have done to hurt us and send you on your way with our unconditional love.
Now, though we may be sad, is the time to remember the laughter we shared, the fun we had and the joy of being in each-others company, trusting that in time these tears of sadness will be replaced by tears of joy.
Goodbye AB, and thank you for being you, and being part of our lives.

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Psalms

Psalm 23

Psalm 27:1, 4 & 5

Psalm 116:1-7

Psalm 121

Psalm 139:7-12

Old Testament

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Lamentations 3:22-26

New Testament

Matthew 5:4

Matthew 11:28-30

John 14:1-6, 27

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Romans 8:35, 37-39

1 Peter 1:3-9

Revelation 21:1-5

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Why do funeral research?

The concept of Evidence Based Practice first originated in the health-care sector over 30 years ago and has been routinely used by health professionals ever since. It aims to improve outcomes by using documented evidence from professional practice and research to solve professional problems and identify the “gold-standard” approach.

Funeral experts regularly claim that a “good funeral” will help people to achieve better long-term grief outcomes. Involvement, participation and feeling satisfied with the funeral planning experience are all regarded as protecting people from “pathological grief outcomes”. However, an in-depth literature review conducted in 2018, left me feeling shocked by the lack of evidence!

EBP has now been embraced by many other disciplines, including education, management, librarianship and literacy development (Clyde, 2006) but it is almost completely lacking in the funeral industry. Should a group of people who claim to be “professionals” not aim to base their practice on something other than anecdotes?

Funeral Experts by Experience – Funeral Factors

Having realised that we no one has asked bereaved people about their experienced of arranging a funeral this meant that we also did not know with confidence what was important to them. Funeral directors and bereavement professionals felt that they knew but we felt it was important to ask the “experts by experience” (bereaved people) about their experienced and recommendations.

In 2019, we completed the first phase of a research project supported by academics at University of York and funeral industry representatives (including Terry Tennens from SAIF, Fran Hall from The Good Funeral Guide and Julie Dunk from the ICCM). This study identified five “funeral factors” which bereaved people consistently reported were important to them when arranging or attending a funeral. The report is available for everyone to read and the findings have been presented at professional conferences (such as the ICCM, NAFD and Humanists conferences) and referenced in academic literature.

The five factors we identified were:

Were the funeral wishes known?
Was decision making inclusive?
Was the funeral director responsive?
Was there the right level of contact with the body?
Did the funeral meet expectations?

For this that are interested, more information about the study (and the report) can be found at https://dev.fullcirclefunerals.co.uk/learning-together/research/

Physical care of the body

Funeral Experts by Experience

During our research, some people shared their opinions about how people are physically looked after once the funeral director has been called, and this has raised more important questions. For the next phase of the research project, we are exploring this further.

In this second phase of the Funeral Experts by Experience project, we are asking volunteers to share their experiences and recommendations about how funeral directors physically care for people who have died. We are looking for members of the public who might be interested in volunteering to share their experience and views with us – this will involve a short interview over the telephone, or by videocall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaTkuskAPQU

As with the first phase of our research, all the rich data gathered during the interviews will then be analysed in detail to look for themes and patterns. These themes will then be presented in a report for discussion, shared and individual reflection and to inform good practice and standards.

Funeral Director Practice

The funeral industry is currently unregulated. There is no mandatory code of practice or national minimal standard and membership to trade association is optional. There are various funeral training providers but no mandatory professional qualifications for funeral directors. This means that funeral directors will have their own views and practices and no single organisation currently knows what these practices are.

In addition, we are also asking funeral directors to share their views and practice regarding care for people who have died. We would like to understand practice and experiences before the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. We are asking funeral directors to complete a short online questionnaire so that we can try to better understand practice across the UK.

Funeral director views and practice can then be compared with bereaved people’s expectations and recommendations and this could be the start of a very meaningful conversation about best practice

What next?

The ultimate questions that we would like to answer is whether a funeral has any impact on long term wellbeing. To understand this better we are working with academics from University of Leeds, York and Bradford and considering the best research methods to explore this very important question. Watch this space!

Clyde, L.A. (2006), “The basis for evidence-based practice: evaluating the research evidence”, New Library World, Vol. 107 No. 5/6, pp. 180-192.

Tag: full circle funerals

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